birthday celebratory update

my long awaited once in a lifetime 21st.

over.

:)

but still the memories leave me smiling.

my friends, classmates, colleagues.

THANK YOU ALL.

although most prob wont see this update. i really appreciate all of them.

:) memorable 21st i must say.

and now!!

since i have my own camera, will be able to upload much more photos i guess! :)

after thoughts of reading syl's blog.

YEA YEA.

lol. I DO READ SYL’s BLOG from time to time. or rather. his tagboard is more interesting. coz a whole load of ppl like to come and tag. positive, negative. ALOT.

anyway.

as i was reading the tagboard.

one thing came to my mind.

WHY DO THE CHURCHIES KEEP ON TELLING US TO LET GO?

WE DO DESERVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK UP FOR THE INJUSTICE WE SEE YOU KNOW.

by keeping quiet and so-called LETTING GOD DO THE JUSTICE, u are just proving urself incapable of protecting urself.

yea yea yea. let God do the work right.because u’re so GOD FEARING. or are u just another coward using God’s name as an excuse to run away.

seriously. i still do believe that there’s a God and all that. but come on la. FOR GOODNESS SAKE PLS. if u cant even stand up for what u believe is RIGHT or WRONG. i think ur God most prob also cannot stand u.

and ppl should stop asking us to let go. INSTEAD PLEASE VIEW THE PROBLEM AS IT IS. fine. i do believe we find joy in irritating the crap out of you, but in our heart, WE WANNA SPEAK UP FOR WHAT WE TRULY THINK.

there’s no point chasing us away or what not. there’s a problem. look at it. SEE IT. dont just push the blame to us and continue thinking THERE”S NOTHING WRONG WITH US. ITS THEM! rectify ur problematic views, narrow mindedness and pure stupidity.

members that dont think.

i used to be one of them. u know. SERVING. thinking what i was doing was for God and what not. until i grew older. i saw SO MUCH STUFF THAT WAS WRONG.

u think ur leaders are very clean and holy? they set examples? how many of ur leaders actually HAD SEX when they were leaders. OR HANKY PANKY IN ROOMS? still can come out ask other ppl if the dick doesnt go in, is it considered SEX. and what. leading ppl STILL!?and making out during leader’s retreat somemore. WINNER! and those act holy ones. yea. not leader, but still goes ard lecturing ppl , not to jaywalk, not to dl songs online or send songs. DEN? MAKING OUT WITH GF AT HOME OR WHERE SHIT I DONT KNOW. man. seriously disgusting.

and ALL THESE IS REAL. i challenge u, go ask ur leaders lo.

IM FUCKING DISGUSTED WHEN I HEARD THAT K NO JOKE.

and the names calling. thanks to a certain someone, I LEARNED THAT MY LEADER (not my cellgroup leaders tho someone else, also considered my leader. take a guess) actually calls ppl of OLDER AGE in their youth congregation EYESORES! WOW. so loving. if God were to really take justice. im SO SURE she will burn in hell. no doubt.

and the OVER LEADER WORSHIPPING. yea yea. i know they serve and what not. but the way u con money out of members IS SO WRONG. i once receive call chain saying tml is *someone* birthday, so we are collecting money, giving is voluntary , but each person must at least give $2.*

i was like WTF la. this is cheating money can. and my friend even got FORCED into loaning his stuff for this LEADER’s bdae. and ITS NOT EVEN HIS LEADER AT THAT POINT. its okay! loan only right? WRONG. den the ORGANISER FORCED HIM TO PAY MONEY TO ATTEND! he say he dont want to attend, THE ORGANISER DONT CARE! ASK HIM PAYYYYYY and go. and trust me. its not the loving pay and go have fun la? its the I DONT CARE U BETTER PAY AND COME. AND COME EARLIER HELP PREPARE. wow. so loving

THERE ARE SO MUCH MORE WRONG STUFF THAN I CAN WRITE.

SO PLEASE STOP TELLING US TO LET IT GO. PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABT IT LA.

need time away from all the drama

like syl said.

too much drama is not good.

i need to get out.

no more drama please.

no moreee.

back from phuket! + mindless stuff going through my head.

im back from phuket. good trip. big things small things many things :P

oh well.

watched the show at the palace of elephants.

saw a VERY NICE ELEPHANT SHOW. was telling tim, yea, very nice right! but surely. kena tortured like shit to train or something one.

poor poor elephants.

one day might just trample and kill everyone out of hatred. :x

ohh well.

those 2 stupid taggers. reading their tags. was thinking. they are bound by so many rules. so many regulations. of coz, they try and keep by it. but when they dont. they dont admit.

they find reasons, all sorts of bullshit excuses to cover up.

*oh no.. God didnt mean it like that, you’re taking him out of context*

oh well. somethings are a black and white issue. some are not.

i think this happens to be one of those thats black and white.

if u wanna live by one. live by all.

dont act all loving in church and secretly judge. be true. if u wanna bitch about us. BITCH OUT LOUD USING UR NAME. lol. but i guess thats pretty hard eh.

you know there’s this one person i think thats super pro.

called PASSERBY.

eh come on. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. turn here turn there passerby tagging here and there. HA.

sure must be got some super power. or else is everyone wants to hide behind that mask.

as im typing. i suddenly realise i forgot what passerby said. because it really didnt matter. ohhhhhh PASSERBY. go and hide behind the mask before someone exposes u k! everyone lets be kind to those ppl k. those that dont dare to use their names and what not. must  be damn hard.

whole day have to keep up with the bloody facade. :)

u know. all the. LIFES GOOD. MY GOD ROCKS. PRINCESS OF GOD.

HAPPY Oh-so-HAPPY. that person wasted his/her breathe? yea yea. go and judge somemore k? in the name of God u judge? or ur own name. this kinda ppl. looking for attention issit. for goodness sake la.

go hide out in ur church somemore. HAHAHA! sometimes. i look at some of the HOLY PPL and i wanna laugh.

its like. so much hidden dirt. bound by rules that are broken in the dark. deeds done job over shit left covered up by ur fake HOLY MAKE UP.

LOL. all that holy make up cant cover ur MO PENG real face.

HOLY BAZOOKA. talk to u got echo. OH. the holes in ur face causing it….

dont use too much HOLY make up. just makes it worse.

this post is lovingly created for binghao. whoever u are.

binghao oh binghao.

you and your narrow-mindedness.

oh well. i cant possibly DEDICATE a whole bloody blog 2 u, but i will dedicate a post 2 u.

anyway. we left not because of cliques. (that would be quite childish) like u noticed. we had our cliques. we didnt NEED their cliques to love us. but we left coz we saw the inequaliity in the systems. and everything else that wasnt right.

maybe not everything, but alot of things definitely.

and you were talking abt… how the leaders DEDICATE their EVERYTHING TO US and end up with no social lives.

in case u havent noticed. God calls us to evangelize. not to tend to our sheep till our relationships with EVERYTHING else is strained. they’re not supposed to end up that way. so obviously something is wrong.

we’re not saying ALL LEADERS are sucky. but some definitely dont care. seriously. you are just but a number in their groups they will try their best to MAINTAIN so during the next leaders meeting, their heads wont get shot off.

and abt clubbing (tho im not really into it. ) syl is not being a hypocrite. just coz he changed his ways means he’s hypocritical? you used to shit in your pants till mummy told you to shit in the bowl. are you hypocritical?

now shitty boy. maybe you’re hurt and sad that syl has BETRAYED you. but dont cry shitty boy. its just seeing the point. when you learn that your ways are wrong, you change them.

syl used to think clubbing was wrong. now he knows he used to be wrong. IF YOU WANT HIM TO SAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WET YOUR PILLOWS LATE INTO DE NIGHT, JUST SAY IT. (syl, go say sorry before shitty boy’s mummy has to wash his pillows again. )

grow up boy. its not abt the cliques. its abt the whole system. and your leader is 100% DEDICATED to you? i hope so. truly. we can always DREAM SO! :)

the hypocrisy almost killed me.

leaders that pretend to care.

leaders that act like they bother.

i dont see the point.

the facade will break sooner or later.

your members will see sooner or later.

so many leaders, oh-so-fake. i wish i could name them. maybe i will soon.

so much dirt to dig up, so much dirty laundry to air.

sometimes, the leaders are the dirtiest of them all.

a place of love? a place we didnt find.

when i walked into that church.

i saw alot of masked people.

fake HIS! exchanged. fake HUGS. how many truly loved one another.

i guess everyone was just trying to cover up their dirty laundry with a big fat mask.

i dont have a very good bible knowledge like syl, but i think i know who are real and who are not. and to me, thats enough.

no point having so much knowledge (not pointing at syl) and using it all in the wrong ways. to repress, to cover up. to make ur members feel like shit for doing something wrong, yet you yourselves are doing it in the dark.

not denying that knowledge is good, knowledge is important, but what have you done? with the knowledge you had, you managed to stumble others, to bring others down, to shoot spiteful words, to make people feel bad. whats the point?

i’d rather not have the knowledge and live my life this way.

i guess the power does drive people to insane ends.

work work work i hate some of my colleagues.

colleagues.

you either love them or hate them.

i kinda hate a few tho.

yup. evil bitches sent from hell. hahaha!

oh well. at least im not afraid to voice out my thoughts in front of them now.

after all the BIGGER bitches ive seen in my life.

haha. u know who. the big and fat one.

anti-"all-these-stuff"

  • anti-“iamsoholyandguesswhat!youarenot.” yes yes, you are holy. OH SO HOLY till we cant take it anymore. no one is perfect, but the way you put it, you are bloody well near perfect. so YES! go hang out with ur bloodyhell near perfect group. us, the UNPERFECTs ones will delve in our imperfect lives. oh. dont come near us please. dont even talk to us. dont taint your perfect lives with our dirty details. just make sure ur dirty laundry doesnt catch our eyes. oh wait. many alr have. dang. you have just managed to bring disgust to our dirty eyes with ur even dirtier secrets.
  • anti-“leadersthatdontractisewhattheypreach” what turns me off is the fact that the leaders dont do what they preach. so many rules set for members that the leaders themselves dont practise. yes, some leaders pay the price for their dirty deeds. but also, many dont pay, simply because they are the PETS. well. little doggies and kitties (or whatever small animals that u fancy) dont step into the outside world. the cruelity of it all might crush you. oh, maybe you’re there because you have seen it and cant find a place for yourself.
  • anti-“iloveyoubutyoumustfulfillthefollowingrequirement” hey look here. seriously. i dont require ur love. fuck off. your love means nothing to us. im sick of hearing, the deeds done for us because you care. or issit just to make yourselves look good at the next meeting? oh my members are doing fine, growing and everything. i’ve heard stuff said to me like”EH! why are you doing this. what you want people to think of me?” seriously. ha. i dont care what people think of you. your conditional love, leave it for the people who love you. because we jolly well dont love you.
  • anti-“ijustwannalookgoodinfrontofothers” i remember one of the guest pastors preaching. why do people have to put a mask when they come to church? why is there extra pressure for people to need to seem like they do well in a place supposedly for people to be themselves and seek the love of God? so many fake masks i see. there was a week someone preached about LOVE. love has to be this, love has to be that, but it seems to me that person’s love was the most conditional for it all. so many times i’ve seen her wary look, her sarcastic glance, her GREAT LOVE! she has to be one of those i seriously seriously think is the most FAKE person of it all. man. she has even called some of her members EYESORES! what love is there left for someone as hypocritical as her. go! hang urself and die. NO WAIT! bring ur pets along. the pets are just like their owners, shooting people evil eyes in places such as lifts and what not.
  • anti-“suckups,carryballs/boobsetc” yup. spend ur lives trying to get into the good graces of the people higher up. :) thats the way! you deserve it for trying so hard. “i dont hang out with people that smoke/drink/etc” yupp. dont think they wanna hang out with you too. AW dont feel bad about it. you can still go suck up to you-know-who! yup. den you all can go carry on covering up ur dirty laundry together. i dont even wanna talk to much about you people. :) but i think you all might be dirtier than the rest of us put together.

you. you there. you jacked yourselves.

why?

you set the traps to take yourselves down.

you placed the rules that you trampled upon.

you gave the orders that you did not obey.

dont blame us for not believing in the words you preach.

for your own leaders dont practice it.

we wish you did, for then we wouldnt have lost the fire.

your cold words, your unappreciative gestures, your back-stabbing negative comments, your fake concern, your irritated look, your conditional love, your high and haughty holiness, your placing of yourself above the world, your sarcastic remarks, your actions in the dark that were exposed.

you did this to yourselves.

you stumbled us.

now go hang yourselves.

you know who you are. :)